The Highlights

MOST CLIQUEY QUOTE:  "I love yoooooouu! Mind the gap, chkn brgr, no 'erbs. blah blah blah blah blah!!!!"

WORST PLACE TO GO:  Gordon's Bar

MOST OVERUSED QUOTES:

Who am I?

I've got a link

What episode of E.R.....

While you are up, get us a beer

Is anyone hungry?

God, it's hot - and boy is it going to get hotter!!

What are we doing today then?

MOST MEMORABLE QUOTE: "Feel my arse"

BEST GAME: Sitting on the floor (in the pool)

PERSON ON THE BIGGEST WINNING STREAK:  Lisa

SKANKIEST PERSON: Lisa

BEST IMPRESSION OF PHOEBE:  Gillian

CHEAPEST ALCOHOL:  1 litre of wine - 40p

PERSON WHO PASSED OUT THE MOST:  Gillian

BEST NIGHT OUT:  24th July - my birthday

NUMBER OF ESSEX PEOPLE SPOTTED:  3 million

MOST WORN T-SHIRT:  Jo's Essex T-Shirt

Day 15: Tue 29th July 1997

This was the day we left Spain and headed for home.  This meant we had to get up at 5.30am - no mean task for people more used to getting up at times much closer to 5.30pm.  After having a weird small Spanish man mumble around our flat, we were finally given back our deposit before he rushed off at the speed of lightning.  When we got our bags outside to wait for the coach we were shunned by the other people waiting.  Obviously if you aren't stupid and are young then you're not worth talking too.  So we sat in silence listening to them all complain about Spanish people not making an effort to speak English - "I said bread and butter, I SAID BREAD AND BUTTER!!!"

When we reached the airport, despite it still being only about 8am, Jo felt the need for beer.  After a bit of Essex spotting at the airport and on the plane we arrived back at Gatwick.  After nearly killing Jo with a trolley, I spotted my taxi driver so had to say a quick goodbye.  It was the end of our holiday and I just have to say it was absolutely brilliant and one of the best times I have ever had.

Day 14: Mon 28th July 1997

LAST DAY...........  aaaaarrrggggghhhhh!!!!! Again we missed the morning and got up at around 12pm.  After slowly getting ready, we hit the shops souvenir hunting.  I had no success at all - sorry Peter, b=no straw donkey or sombrero.  Jo had the most success, managing to find something for everyone.  Lisa is going to try for a second attempt - I quite frankly, can't be bothered.

For the last time we went to the beach where we posed for Baywatch photos, swam in the very warm sea, (either the weather is hotter or a helluva a lot of people peed in it today!), and basically put off going to the flat for hours.  This meant that we left the beach at around 7pm.  Our swimming and sunbathing however did not end there - we went to the pool.  Again the water was very warm - there must be a phantom wee-er on the loose!  After that me and Joanna went for food.  We found the nicest Spanish person so far and really wished we had found him sooner!  After a few drinks and yet more conversations not involving films we began the immense task of packing.  It is a bit difficult when a lot of things were wet but I have done it.  It is an early start tomorrow, so we are having an earlyish night.

Day 13: Sun 27th July 1997

We did it!!! We actually did it!!  The alarm went off and I got up.  Jo was already awake, but she is weird.  The only problem was Lisa.  Lisa had been a bit ill for the last  couple of days, and the fact that she felt worse, combined with it actually being the morning and not the afternoon, and combined with the thought of facing roller coaster rides and queues, she made her decision and grunted it to us from her sick bed on the floor.  So Jo and I set off on a little adventure involving Spanish public transport, incredibly stupid ticket booth workers, (she thought Jo was actually Spanish!), long queues, death defying rides, a journey around the world and a remake of the Jurassic Park shop - but worse.  At Port Adventura our first ride was the Tatuki Splash in Polynesia.  This was a kind of log flume involving volcanoes.  The queue was 30mins long and Jo and I ended up right at the front of the boat.  It was an excellent ride and we ended up absolutely drenched - maybe we should have followed the cling film wrapped woman's advice!  When we looked at the photo, Jo had a brilliant G-Force face.  We then went to The Wild West for a stunt show, however, it was a farce - quite literally.  After a disappointing ride of the rapids we had excellent success on everything else.  We only avoided the kiddie rides, The Dragon Khan, (the biggest roller coaster in Europe), and a Mary Rose type ride.  The only other thing we had to queue for was the log flume  - again a half hour wait.  Again we were at the front of the boat, and again we were drenched!!! I had a life changing experience by going on all the rides - you never know, I might one day go on the Dragon Khan - Jo tried her best to make me.

On the way back we were nearly trapped on the bus - the bus driver didn't seem to want to let us off.  I think the only reason we escaped was because he had to stop to let someone on.  When we saw our chance we seized it and jumped off.  When we got back Lisa was much better, and out of bed.  After a couple of hours of doing nothing we had a spontaneous photo session.  With the aid of my timer we re-enacted film and TV scenes, and also created our own surreal and just plain stupid poses.  In order to do this a lot of running around, adjusting things and rearranging furniture was required.  This was completely exhausting - especially running down the stairs in my pyjamas for Evita.  So, after the photo session we all went to bed ready for our lats day tomorrow.

Day 12: Sat 26th July 1997

Today was another day of sitting/lying around in bed for absolutely ages.  Our plan for today was to go to the aqua park in the afternoon, (it's cheaper!), which means being there at 3pm.  We nearly missed this because it was so enjoyable being in bed.  In the end, because I still hadn't got up, Jo and Lisa went to the bank and shop while I got up.  When they got back we got ready and headed for a new adventure at the aqua park, (remember the corny trend from day 1?!!??!).  This time we made it onto The Black Hole, which has now been rated as the best ride along with Aquamania.  We also discovered an advantage in queuing from the 2 person only rule, although it did require someone being a Norma for a while, (Jo and Lisa fit the role perfectly!).

On the way back to the flat after the park had closed we found the bus stop and a way of getting to Port Adventura.  The night consisted of deep and meaningful talks, beer and shock horror, no film quotes - what is going on!??!  Have we found depth at last?  Finally, Lisa and Joanna collapsed so we had to go to bed.  I think it might be a good idea because it is 2am, and seeing as our average time for getting up is 2pm and we have to get up at 10am, we need the sleep.  It is a major challenge to actually get up in the morning - but I think we might just cope.

Day 11: Fri 25th July 1997

It is 5pm and we are still in bed.  If there was any possible way we could send someone out for food without us having to move we would do it.  We have actually been awake since 12pm.  Lisa joined us for about an hour in the clothes she was wearing last night but has since gone and collapsed.  Me and Jo have passed the time doing film links.  We will have to get up soon as the food situation, (and alcohol), is getting desperate.  The film links are now getting too obscure.  The last one was Keanu Reeves to Rikki Lake, (Rikki Lake - Serial Mom - Kathleen Turner - Voice of Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit - Bob Hoskins - Mario Brothers - Dennis Hopper - Speed - Keanu Reeves).  At 6pm we finally gave in to the no food situation.  Lisa still couldn't manage to move, so we left her in a zombie like state, and ventured out to the bank and shop.  However, this was obviously too much for Joanna as around 45 mins after returning to the flat she joined Lisa in the zombie look-a-like competition.  When they both rejoined consciousness we began the film link game again.  The plan to return to La Pacha disintegrated into sitting around talking about E.R. and films.  However, two litres of beer was still consumed, and Lisa, although now moving can not face alcohol or food.  Even on our quiet nights we consume vast amounts of alcohol - I dread the day it all catches up with me and I get a hangover, (you never know I might beat Lisa in the zombie look-a-like competition).

P.S. Joanna found the bargain of the century - a litre of wine for 40p.  My guess is as soon as it touches her lips they will melt off.  She is risking her life for a cheap drink - some people are so brave.

P.P.S.  Lisa is continuing to try and win all competitions, so much so she is now inventing her own contests.  This time it is "Who can wear the same top the longest".  She put it on to go out last night and hasn't changed since, (that is over 24 hours) - hmmmm what is that smell?!?!?

Day 10: Thu 24th July 1997

It is my birthday!!! I am 21!!!!  We drank, we went out at 11.30pm, we got back much later!!!!!!